About Me

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By the age of 21, I was a single mother of two and feeling confident that there was no room for "religion" in my life. Christ humbled me and I came to know, love and depend on him as my personal savior. While growing in my faith, God opened my mind and my heart to a man who is now my husband, and a wonderful father to two! Through God's sovereignty, we are blended as one.

09 September 2010

Putting His will on hold...

So I was all set to start our foster parenting classes last week and we couldn't due to work and scheduling issues.

The next round of classes begin in October and we're waiting to hear if they have space for us to join.

I'm sure of God's plan for us in becoming foster parents, I'm just wondering why the hurdles?

Pray that God will make a way and that we'll be ready!

06 August 2010

Following His will.....

Not long after I got saved, I felt that the Lord was calling me to serve children in some way. I was already working in a child care center, but I still felt that tugging on my heart, so I knew this wasn't all He was asking of me. I began hearing lots of stories about foster care and meeting people who were involved in the program. The light bulb went off and I knew that this was what the Lord was leading me to.

I had no fear about caring for these kids, but at the time I was single and had two small children of my own. With no help and not being financially stable enough to care for additional children, I didn't pursue it.

But if you know my God, you know He doesn't give up so easily! Not long after Jarrod and I were married, I felt that tugging on my heart again. This time I knew, without a doubt, what the Lord was asking of me. I felt confident that Jarrod and I could handle this job! So I talked with Jarrod, sure he was going to be as excited as me! Apparently God was not leading him in the same direction. Being newly married and new to the father role, he asked me to hold off and give him time to think about it. I was not happy with his decision to say the least and was a little confused that the Lord was calling me to do something my husband was opposed to.

So I did what any good wife would do, I nagged! I eventually realized that foster parenting was not something to guilt Jarrod into and if he didn't feel led to do it, I should back off and pray about it.

While getting my lesson in submission, God softened Jarrod's heart to the idea and he was open to learning more about it. During this time, our pastor had a sermon about adoption and caring for the orphaned. I love how God gives you those extra pushes of encouragement!!!

Last week we attended an informational meeting about becoming foster parents in Wake County. The meeting left Jarrod feeling more comfortable with the idea and left me with lots of questions. I know this is what the Lord is calling us to do but all the fears and doubts have crept in. No matter how many times I ask God, "what about this, etc" I still get the same confirmation about foster parenting.

Our 10 week classes begin in September and with those will come lots more information about our responsibilities. Pray that the Lord gives us wisdom and that the fear and doubt will not consume us.

09 July 2010

In Better Hands Now...... 6/11/02 - 7/9/10

Raymond John Winter Jr. was delivered into the hands of my wonderful creator and redeemer today at 4:07 pm. As hard as this is right now because I mourn his absence, I am rejoicing at what Christ has done for him.

RJ is no longer ill, no longer afflicted with PLE. His heart has finally been healed and made whole! Thank you Jesus.

I was so scared that I would be angry at God for this but all I can think about is how much He loves us! Our time with Raymond is over for now, but not forever. Raymond has just begun his perfect life with Jesus and one day I'll be there with him!

In Christ alone, my hope is found. Thank you for the peace and comfort you offer me right now. I am so thankful that I don't have to mourn like the hopless!!

01 June 2010

Seeing God's Grace Through Suffering...

I should have written the title in the form of a question cause I'm really asking more than making an observation.

Almost nine months ago, a close friend rushed her son into the ER and he is still struggling to live.

Raymond, my friends son, will be 8 years old in June. He is a walking miracle, literally! The doctors recommended ending his life while he was still in the womb due to a heart defect they detected. My friend, Helen, loves and trusts the Lord with all her heart. There was no hesitation on what she should do because she knew that anything was possible for her God.

From the very beginning Raymond beat the odds and amazed doctors who thought he would not live. Every bench mark doctors said he would not meet, he did and exceeded many of them!

Raymond started first grade this year and people were already drawn to this sweet boy with half a heart, who at 7 years old, already had an amazing testimony of God's sovereignty and grace!

Several weeks into the school year, Raymond contracted H1N1 which turned into pneumonia. This took a toll on his body and his health quickly spiraled and he was placed on life support.

Being the miracle that he is, he came off life support and eventually was able to go home. This hopeful situation was short lived and Raymond was soon back in the hospital.

As I type this, Raymond and Helen are preparing to be transported to Motts Children's Hospital in Michigan. Medically speaking, Michigan is his last chance. Raymond desperately needs a heart transplant to recover. Duke denied him for the procedure due to his deteriorating health but Michigan wants to evaluate him to see if they can get him on a donor list.

I know God is sovereign and merciful, I am reminded of this everyday in my walk with Him, but I am struggling to see his mercy in this.

I can see how He's used Raymond to draw so many to Him! Thousands of people have been touched by his story and I've heard from dozens of people that "they typically don't pray, but they are praying for Raymond." I just am dying inside because here is a boy that I have watched grow, who is my daughters age, and he may loose this battle! And my friend, the burden I carry for her suffering right now is so heavy that I physically hurt at times. How do I encourage her? What do I say or do? I feel helpless and recently, hopeless.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not questioning God and His plan for anyone, I just don't know how much more of this any of us can endure.

06 May 2010


Four months into the New Year and my resolution has been shot all to pieces! Not only have I racked up more credit card debt, I purchased a new vehicle.

Being frugal with money is a lot harder than I thought it would be. I've realized that I am so consumed with wanting things and getting my kids the things they want that I've failed to realize how sinful this issue is. I have made money and material possession's my idol. And worse, I'm teaching this to my children.

I've had to be open with my husband and admit that I have a problem and ask for him to keep me accountable which is hard for me because humility and submission are not things I'm good at.

I pray that my next update will be an encouraging one!

28 December 2009

New Goals for the New Year!

Here we go again! I can't believe it's 2010 already! Every year at this time I reevaluate my life and focus on the areas where I need the most growth. And I don't know about you, but it's easy for me to find MANY areas where I need to grow (o:

One goal of mine for this new year is that I want to work on being an example for my family instead of judging them. I am guilty of leading by the "do as I say, not as I do" mentality instead of leading by example. I am also guilty of blaming others for my actions and reactions. The great thing about this goal is I'm already well aware of when I do this, I'm just not as quick as I'd like to be in preventing it from happening (o:

My next goal is getting my spending under control! I know my husband will love this one! A few years ago, I gave Jarrod most of my credit cards, which have been locked away ever since. In theory, this was a great idea for getting me to spend less, but in actuality, it didn't stop the spending )o: We are able to save some money every month, but not what we could be saving if I wasn't in charge of the finances.

All my goals seem simple enough, but they are areas that I've been struggling in the last year. I hope my first update on my New Years Goals will be an encouraging one!!

Happy New Year Everyone!!

15 May 2009

Field Day

Today I spent the day with a group of 2nd graders from Neuse Baptist Christian School; it was field day( : I got soooo burnt and had to settle a few disagreements amongst the girls, but we had an AWESOME day!!! I was excited to be able to volunteer because I haven't been able to do much of anything with the kids at school this year because I've been working and going to school myself. Here is a video of the kids on the way to the soccer field for the second half of field day. Sooooo cute( :