Skeletons in the closet....

It's close to Halloween and I thought this was an appropriate title for this post. We all have things in our life that we choose not to share out of fear of judgment. Well, this is one of those things.
I was reading a friends blog recently and was truly inspired by her honesty about a situation she was going through so it encouraged me to be more transparent with this situation.
Four years ago my cousin committed a sinful, and horrific act by killing his mother, brother and sister. Our family has been divided by this and it has brought out some things that had been "swept under the rug" for a long time.
My grandmother is supporting my cousin, Kenny, and visits him every week and has been way involved since day one. She is a believer, but has been fooled by many "wolves" during these four years. Although she knows the word is true, she tends to bend it now.
I'm not sure their motives, but the lawyers and several others have actually compared my cousin to Jesus. I shutter to even type that, but it's true. I have been in close contact with my grandmother during all of this because I want to be the voice of truth in her life right now, and gratefully, she listens.
In the other corner is my mother, my aunt and my uncle. They have all decided to avoid my grandmother, their mother, like the plaque until the trial is over. (it started today)
They all are holding onto a lot of baggage from their childhood and are very bitter about many things going on right now.
My mom, who is awesome, will listen to truth but is just not ready to forgive right now. I was reminded about the days before I had Jesus and just how angry I was about everything and everyone. Even when I said I was ok, there was still bitterness in my heart. There was no true peace or joy in my life, even when things were going good!
Just pray that everyone will see God's sovereignty during and after this and that his will, will be done! I also ask that you pray for forgiveness and healing in my family and that those who do not know God, or have been away for a long time will come to know Him as their Lord! And pray for Kenny and his salvation. His mother and brother and sister had accepted the Lord as their savior just weeks before they died! I know Kenny did a horrible thing, but he is no less deserving of salvation than me so please pray that he too will seek forgiveness!

Whoa is me...

As Christians, why do we (meaning me right now) get caught up in the feeling of "how dare they" when someone sins against us or others? Lately I have been struggling with a friend who professes to know the Lord as they're personal savior but the fruits are not so apparent. I should be in deep prayer for this person, instead I am bathing in my bitterness and anger.
I find myself making a joke of the situation so not to be frustrated but deep down I feel like I have done all I can and I should move on before I begin and/or continue to stumble.
Let me say, I do try and help my friend be accountable for their actions, but I am quickly frustrated when I do not see an immediate change. I think I have an idea of how our Father feels when we continually beat our heads up against the same wall when He's lovingly commanding us to stop :-)
It's funny how quickly we give up on people not remembering how broken we use to be and at many times, still are. At what point is it ok to "give up"? I read Matthew 18:15 "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone........ " and try to check myself and my heart to make sure that I AM doing everything I should and could be. This is a hard question for me because I am really not sure.
I try to remind myself that no matter what is done or happens to me, I never receive more than I deserve and every situation in one that will help me grow in my faith. I also try to remember, although lately this has been hard, that I am not fit nor do I have the authority to judge my friends heart.

I AM A CHRISTIAN!!!!

I stand corrected! I received an email from Mackenzie's teacher tonight that said she prayed with Kenzie on Monday and she got saved.
I was a little skeptical because on Monday Kenzie was very upset that she "was the only one in the family who wasn't a christian" and I just wanted to make sure her prayer was out of conviction not selfishness.
When we got home from awana's tonight, she walked into the office and began to cry. She wanted me to pray with her so that she could be a christian. We talked about her prayer on Monday with her teacher and I explained that she only has to pray once. She was upset because she wanted Jesus to take all the "bad stuff" out of her heart now! Oh the faith of a child!
The spirit of the Lord is working in this house and I am GRATEFUL!!! My husband has renewed his faith, my son has received salvation and now my daughter!!
Lord, I thank you for these blessings!! I thank you for your mercy and love that was able to turn a sinner like me into a believer! I thank you for allowing me to be a new creation so that I may show my children to way! Thank you!

I'M NOT A CHRISTIAN!!!!!!!

Recently we've decided to join the church we have been attending for the past year and it has stirred up lots of conversations at our house. Jarrod has been baptized so he'll be joining by letter, I on the other hand have never been a member of a church so I'll be joining by baptism. (yay!) The kids had lots of questions about all of this and even got to play in the tub where I'll be baptized. (they thought it was a big hot tub!!)
When I put them to bed Sunday night, Trevor asked me about becoming a Christian. He's been talking a lot about this lately so this was normal conversation for us. But this night, he decided he was ready to accept Jesus as his Lord and Savior and we prayed then talked about what it meant and then I cried!!!!!!!
On the way to school the next morning I told him to share his good news with his sister. Trevor said, "Guess what? I'm a fisher of men now! Mom, what is a fisher of men again?" I told him and then Mackenzie asked if he was a Christian and he said yes.
Well, she got real quiet and anyone who knows her realizes how unusual this is so I looked through the review mirror and she was bawling!!!!!
When I asked her why she was crying she busted out and said,"I'm the only one in our family whose not a Christian!"
Of course I was fighting back the laughter and I explained to her that God was there whenever she was ready. But I will admit, she is a prideful thing! She started making all the excuses in the world for why she couldn't be a christian right now.
It's funny because at that moment I was frustrated because she was allowing her pride to keep her from the best thing that will ever happen but then I quickly remembered how prideful and out right stubborn I was!
At seven years old, she views Christianity much like I did; thinking you have to give up more than you'll gain and believing that you need to get your life right before coming to Him. She finally said that her heart was just too dirty right now and that she needs to learn more about the bible.
I see how He is working in her heart and I am so grateful! How awesome the day will be when I am comforted by knowing where my babies will spend eternity!!!!!!!!!