If I had to give a name to the merry-go-round I am on right now, it would be "Forgiveness, Hope, Disappointment, and Bitterness". I know it's a long name for a ride, but that's the jest of the cycle I am on with a couple of people right now.
Ever since my spiritual birth, I have struggled with my temper. I know those who know me are snickering right now and saying, no; really:) I don't deny it nor do I make excuses for it, but because of that struggle, I don't always deal with situations appropriately.
I know the cycle I am on does not glorify God, but I am struggling with the point at which I am dishonoring Him. See, I forgive those that have let me down or hurt me to the point I forget what they have done. That's where the hope comes in.
I get so excited and hopeful about their "change" that I believe things will be so much better...... Enter disappointment:(
When they let me down, it's so unexpected, well to me at least, and I get hurt. I begin to get consumed with the hurt and I want so bad to right the wrong. And then my old friend bitterness enters!
Bitterness is a scary emotion for me because it puts me so dangerously close to who I was before Christ and I don't like that person! Don't get me wrong, that part of my life is important because if I forget it, I'll get too comfortable and risk slipping back there, but I don't like being bitter. It usually leads to anger for me and my thoughts, heart and actions aren't right towards the person whose offended me. I begin to drudge up all the previous wrongs and then I really get bitter.
I guess I just need a little encouragement and some loving accountability. First and foremost, I want to glorify God with not only my words, but my actions. It's also hard for me to remember that I can't expect Godly things from ungodly people, because I do. I know I don't pray for these individuals enough and I allow myself to be changed by their actions, which isn't their fault, then I blame them. So if anyone has any encouraging scriptures, or thoughts on what I should do, please share:)
Letter "Z"
9 years ago
2 comments:
I have two verses that I use when I get bitter and angry at people or circumstances. The first is: "Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled" (Heb. 12:14-15).
The second is the fruit of the Spirit passage: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. (Gal. 5:22-23a)
I think I need the fruit of the Spirit tattooed to my forehead sometimes, because I get so far from it so often. I use it most of these two, and I will recite it over and over when I'm having trouble controlling my anger.
Hang in there and remember that we are all works in progress! God never runs out of patience with us and will forgive us over and over again, if we ask Him to.
Thanks for the verses. I'm not really anxious about Him running out of patience with me, but more of me running out of with the people in my life and I just don't know if turning my back on them is the right thing to do.
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